


Old Sekai-ichi Hatukoi and Junjou Romantica Fics

by DoomedKelpie



Category: Junjou Romantica, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Bad Poetry, Cats, Depression, Dubious Consent, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mpreg, Poetry, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25517563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: A compilation of all of my old Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi fics.
Relationships: Kamijou Hiroki/Kusama Nowaki, Onodera Ritsu/Takano Masamune
Kudos: 3





	1. The Door Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a collection of my old Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi and Junjou Romantica fics. I'm just posting all of my fics from fanfiction. net on here. Please keep in mind that some of these are even older than the date I posted them on fanfiction. net, and they're pretty bad. Idk, people still read them over on fanfiction. net sometimes, though, so whatever. 
> 
> Idk, I don't even like these shows anymore.
> 
> Anyway, first story's summary:
> 
> The Door: What happens when Onodera's mother finds out about his relationship with Takano? (TRIGGER WARNINGS: SUICIDE, SELF HARM (?), MENTIONED VIOLENCE, DUB-CON, and MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH)

Takano and Onodera were sitting in Onodera’s living room. They had just barely finished the newest issue of Emerald magazine, and they were beat. Onodera watched silently as Takano finished his juice.  
“Hey, Onodera,” Takano said. “You haven’t said anything for the past 2 hours. It’s starting to p*ss me off.”  
Onodera blushed slightly and turned away from him, “Sh-shut up, Takano-san! I’m going to sleep now, so please leave.”  
Onodera stood up and started to walk away, but he was stopped as Takano gripped his arm.  
“T-Takano-san, please let go of me,” Onodera stuttered. “It’s late, so you should really go home now!”  
“No,” Takano replied as he forced Onodera into the bedroom and onto the bed.  
XXX  
Onodera woke up and looked at the clock. It was past noon already. He heard the door open. Then, he heard a voice.  
“Ritsu? I’m sorry to come by without saying anything. The door was unlocked,” he heard it say.  
Onodera heard footsteps. They stopped outside his bedroom door.  
“Ritsu? Don’t tell me you’re still asleep”  
“Wha-,” Takano mumbled as he sat up. Onodera froze. The door opened. Onodera’s mother was standing there.  
“Ritsu!!!” she exclaimed.  
Onodera’s face grew hot. Takano didn’t say a word. They stared at each other. Onodera tried to think of something to tell his mother, but what could he say so that she wouldn’t know that he and Takano were dating? They were naked in the same bed, after all.  
“Ritsu, you and your ‘friend’ should get dressed. I think we need to talk,” Onodera’s mother said in a tense voice.  
She turned and walked into Onodera’s living room. Takano and Onodera quickly got dressed.  
“Takano-san,” Onodera whispered. “Please go home now. My mother isn’t the type of person who’ll be okay with something like this.”  
“B-,” Takano started.  
“Seriously, just go home!” Onodera interrupted.  
He pushed Takano out of the room and out the door. He turned toward his mother, but he couldn’t look her in the eye for fear of what she would say.  
“Ritsu, do you care to explain what I saw?” She asked, but it sounded more like a command than a question.  
Onodera stared at the ground, and then he spoke.  
XXX  
“Onodera, are you alright?” Takano asked after coming back once Onodera’s mother had left.  
“Y-yeah. She just got really mad at me. She said that she’s going to tell my dad, though…,” Onodera replied. “He’s going to be so p*ssed…”  
XXX  
Onodera woke up. He really didn’t want to go to work today, but he got ready anyway. Slowly, Onodera opened the door. Luckily, Takano wasn’t in the hall. Then, Onodera heard a voice.  
“Rit-chan!”  
“An-chan?” Onodera asked. “Why are you here?”  
“I’m really sorry, Rit-chan. Your mom is making me keep you away from  
Takano-san. I guess she found out that you’re in love with him, huh?” she answered.  
“Y-yeah,” he replied. “But can’t you just pretend that you’re keeping me away from him?”  
“I would, but your mom is making me give her a report of everything that happens on your way to work. I’m sorry, but I guess we should go so that you aren’t late for work,” Ann said.  
They started walking toward Marukawa Publishing. Neither of them spoke the whole way there. They hadn’t seen Takano, either.  
“Bye, Rit-chan. Your mom’s making me walk you home, too, so I’ll see you later,” Ann said solemnly once they reached the door.  
“Bye, An-chan. But please, don’t come later,” Onodera replied.  
Onodera opened the door and walked in. Isaka was standing there.  
“Good morning, Isaka-san,” Onodera greeted.  
“Good morning, Mr. Coattails!” Isaka replied in his usual goofy tone. “Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Your father told me something very interesting yesterday. He said that you’re in love! Who was it you were in love with again… Oh, right! It was a dark-haired man that fits the description of someone that works here! Takano, was it?”  
All the blood drained from Onodera’s face. His dad had told Isaka.  
“Oh, I don’t mind, personally. But…,” Isaka said, more seriously. “Your dad asked me to do a favor for him. Since you and Takano are in the same department… as of today, you will be assigned to the literature department. That should be fine, though. Originally, you wanted to be in the literature department, right?”  
As Isaka’s words sank in, Onodera started to panic. He wanted to continue editing manga.  
“B-but, Isaka-san, I want to continue editing manga!” Onodera shouted. “You were there when I said I would surpass Takano-san!”  
“I know, but your dad is really p*ssed. I can transfer you back after everything cools down. Can you just listen to me?” Isaka told him.  
“I understand,” Onodera replied as he looked down. Onodera turned around and started to walk to the elevator. The doors opened. Once he clicked the ‘up’ button, Onodera stepped in and sighed. The door started to shut.  
“Hold the elevator! I’m getting on!” Takano yelled as he stopped the door from shutting and got onto the elevator. “Oh! Good morning.”  
Onodera quickly turned from him.  
“Good morning, Takano-san,” he replied nervously.  
The elevator door opened a few moments later, and Onodera stepped off.  
“Onodera, this isn’t the right floor,” Takano told him.  
“I-Isaka moved me to the literature department. A-after my mom told my dad, he told Isaka-san… and he asked him to change my department…,” Onodera mumbled in explanation.  
A second later, Onodera’s wrist was grabbed by Takano. He dragged Onodera back into the elevator.  
“T-Takano-san?! What are you doing?!” Onodera yelled.  
Without a word, Takano glanced at him. The anger in his eyes scared Onodera. The door of the elevator opened again. They were on the top floor of Marukawa Publishing. Takano dragged the man all the way to Isaka’s office and burst through the door.  
“What the f*ck is this sh*t about changing Onodera’s department?!” he yelled at a somewhat surprised Isaka.  
“Oh, Takano. You’re a bit earlier than I expected,” he said.  
“Answer my f*cking question, you *sshole!” Takano yelled in reply.  
Isaka sighed and said, “Look, Takano, I know you’re angry, but there wasn’t anything else I could do. His father said he would force Mr. Coattails to quit if I didn’t change his department. Now, I’m sure Mr.Coattails over there didn’t have much of a chance to explain everything before you dragged him here. So, I’ll tell you what I already told him. I can switch his department back after this thing with his parents cools down! Do you understand?”  
“Fine!” Takano spat out as he left the room.  
“I’m really sorry about that, Isaka-san! I guess I should leave-,” Onodera started.  
“Onodera,” Isaka cut him off. He had actually used Onodera’s actual name, so it was clear that he was being serious. “You should probably stay away from Takano for a while. Aside from the issue with you parents, he’s really p*ssed. Things could get ugly.”  
“Th-thanks, Isaka-san,” Onodera replied as he left.  
XXX  
Onodera plopped himself onto his couch. He was starting to feel kind of depressed. Everyone in the literature department was nice to him, and he loved to edit books, but he just couldn’t be happy at all right now.  
“Things between us were finally starting to get fixed. Why did this have to happen now?” he asked himself.  
Suddenly, Onodera realized the full extent of his love for Takano. He started to sob.  
XXX  
Several months had passed. During that time, Onodera and Takano hadn’t spoken to each other once in fear of what could happen if they did. Word of their relationship had gotten out and spread throughout the company. Many of Onodera’s coworkers began to insult him badly. Onodera had become a shadow of himself as a result. People even started to beat him up. One beating was so bad that Onodera had almost ended up in the hospital. Takano wasn’t even aware of this.  
Onodera slowly walked home. The words of the last man that had made fun of him echoed throughout his mind. He opened the door of his apartment to find his parents sitting there. By the looks on their faces, it was clear that they were still furious. Onodera simply stared at them blankly.  
“Ritsu,” his mother began coldly. “Rumors about you and that man have spread way too much. Since your father is the owner of a respectable company… We have decided to disown you until you stop your foolishness. Bye, Ritsu.”  
His parents walked around him and left. The door slammed shut. Onodera fell to the floor. The words of his parents hurt. They hurt so much more than those of the people that insulted or beat him. Sob after sob escaped from Onodera’s mouth.  
“Maybe everyone is right,” Onodera said darkly. “Maybe I am a worthless, disgusting human being.”  
Onodera stood and walked over to a cabinet. Once he opened it, he found the bottle he was looking for.  
“Bye,” he whispered as he opened the bottle and started to chug its contents.  
XXX  
Next door, Takano was contemplating whether or not he should try to comfort Onodera. He had heard him sobbing through the walls.  
“Aw, f*ck it!” he yelled.  
He threw open the door and headed to the next one over.  
“Onodera? It’s Takano. Are you okay? I heard you crying, so something must be wrong. Onodera?” Takano questioned.  
As time passed, without a response, Takano started to panic. Eventually, Takano became so frantic that he broke down the door.  
“Ritsu!” he cried once he saw Onodera’s motionless body on the floor.  
He fell to his knees and desperately tried to find a pulse. Luckily, he found one, but it was hardly detectable. Then, Takano saw the recently emptied bottle on the floor. With fear coursing through his veins, he picked it up. Takano’s heart sank as soon as he read the label.  
“Bleach…?” Takano gasped. “Oh my god! Ritsu! Ritsu!”  
Frantically, he grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed 911. He quickly explained the situation to the emergency operator. All he could do now was wait.  
“T-Taka-n-no-san,” Onodera whispered in a voice so soft that Takano almost missed it. “I-I’m s-s-s-sorry.”  
Once again, the man became motionless. Sirens could be heard in the distance. The paramedics had finally arrived.  
XXX  
Onodera’s parents had been notified by the hospital. They burst into the room with looks of terror on their faces. Despite all the terrible things they had said, they still could never stop loving their son.  
“What are you doing here?” Onodera’s mother asked Takano when she saw him.  
“Is now really the f*cking time for that?!” Takano yelled. “Your son is dying! I don’t care if you hate him! The doctors said there was nothing they could do! Just be with him in his final moments, God damn it!!!”  
Takano started to sob. Onodera’s parents ran to their son’s side and grasped his hand. His mother broke into tears as well.  
“Oh, Ritsu! We’re so sorry!” she wailed. “We love you so much! I wish we could take back what we said! Ritsu!”  
These were the final words he heard before he was swept away from the world.  
XXX


	2. The Door Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter of The Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same warnings as last chapter apply, plus alcoholism.

Takano stood in front of Onodera’s grave. It had been more than a year since Onodera’s death, but he still couldn’t move on. The grief of losing his love destroyed him. Takano had begun to drink again, and he lost all interest n his work. No matter what he did, Takano always saw Onodera’s face as he died.  
“Masamune,” Yokozawa called out. “It’s late. You should go home.”  
Takano sighed. With a final glance at the grave, he followed his friend back to his apartment. Once inside, Yokozawa began to speak.  
“Masamune, you can’t go on like this. Don’t you see what’s happening? You’re going down the same path Onodera was on before he died! Masamune, if you don’t get help soon, you’re going to end up killing yourself too! Look, I know you loved Onodera, but he loved you too! Think about how you’re feeling right now. Onodera would feel the same way if you killed yourself! Do you honestly think that Onodera would have wanted you to follow in his footsteps?” he lectured.  
This made Takano flinch. Deep down, he knew Yokozawa was right, but he couldn’t bring himself out of this depression. Without Onodera, he never would be able to.


	3. SH and JR Poems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some poems I wrote a LONG time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These poems are honestly awful.

#1 “I’m Cold”

“I’m cold”  
He smiles  
“Okay”  
He hugs me  
I blush  
“I missed you”  
He says  
“Shut up”  
I reply  
“Okay, Hiro-san”  
He laughs  
I squirm  
“Brat”  
“I love you”  
I blush more  
“Sleep”  
I grouch  
He smiles deeper  
He sleeps  
I sit there  
“I love you, too”

XXX

#2- “Hate?”

I hate you so much,  
So I don’t understand  
Why I don’t push you away.  
I can’t trust you again.  
I won’t be fooled twice,  
Yet I’m happy when you’re here.  
Even when you annoy me,  
I can’t help smiling.  
I try so hard to hate you,  
But my walls are breaking.  
I can’t deny it much longer.  
Were you telling the truth?  
I don’t know if you were,  
But no matter what,  
This definitely,  
Absolutely,  
No way,  
Can’t be,  
Never will be,  
Could be,  
Might,  
Sort of is,  
Positively,  
Definitely,  
Is love.


	4. EHHHH!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Nowaki leaves, Hiroki finds out something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (NOTE: contains mpreg)

Hiroki sat on the floor of his apartment. He looks down at the paper in his hand and read it again and again, but he still couldn’t believe what it said. He gripped the paper tighter as tears started to stream down his cheeks. Suddenly, he jumped up and started trashing his apartment. After throwing around most of the objects in the room, Hiroki sunk to the floor again. Sobs burst out from his throat as he put his face into his hands.  
…  
“First, Nowaki left without telling me, and now this had to happen! Dammit! Why now!” Hiroki screeched.   
…  
Hiroki had no idea what he was going to do, but he had to face facts: he was pregnant  
…  
XXX  
It had been a week since Hiroki found out he was pregnant. He hadn’t come to work or even called to say he wasn’t coming. Needless to say, Miyagi was pretty worried about his coworker. Once he finished his lectures, he walked to Hiroki’s apartment.  
…  
“Kanijou! It’s Miyagi! I need to talk to you! Please open the door!” he pleaded.  
…  
Nobody replied.  
…  
“Kamijou, I know you’re in there!” Miyagi yelled.  
…  
He tried opening the door, and, surprisingly, it opened. Miyagi entered the trashed apartment and began to look for Hiroki. Soon, he located him on the living room floor, crying.  
…  
“Kamijou?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”  
…  
“Why the hell are you here?” Hiroki spat through his tears.  
…  
“I came because you haven’t come into work since last week, so I was worried. Now, tell me what’s wrong,” Miyagi ordered.  
…  
There was a long pause before Hiroki answered.  
…  
“My boyfriend left without telling me…,” he spoke. “And then I found out I’m pregnant…”  
….  
“Ehhh?!?!” Miyagi gasped.  
…  
XXX  
Soon, months had passed. Nowaki still hadn’t come back. Before long, Hiroki had a daughter named Nagisa. She had blue-black hair and blue eyes. Her features that were so similar to her father’s saddened Hiroki, but calmed him as well. Hiroki immediately loved hid daughter with all his heart.  
…  
XXX  
After he put Nagisa in her crib, Hiroki heard the doorbell ring. He wasn’t expecting visitors, so he tried to ignore it. However, the doorbell just kept ringing. Now annoyed, Hiroki threw open the door.  
…  
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!?!” he yelled.  
…  
However, once he saw who it was, tears formed in his eyes. Nowaki was standing in front of his door.  
…  
“Nowaki..?” Hiroki gasped.   
…  
“Hello, Hiro-san,” Nowaki replied with a smile.  
…  
Hiroki looked down as the tears finally rolled down his cheeks.  
…  
“WHAT THE HELL, NOWAKI?!?!” Hiroki yelled. “WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST LEAVE?!?!”  
…  
“I’m so sorry, Hiro-san,” Nowaki said as he hugged him.  
…  
“YOU IDIOT! I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO TELL YOU-“ Hiroki tried to scream at him.  
…  
Suddenly, Nagisa started wailing. Hiroki cut his sentence short and pushed Nowaki away so he could comfort his daughter. Quickly, he ran into the apartment. Nowaki was confused, but he followed him into the apartment. He saw Hiroki rush to a crib and start to comfort the crying infant inside. Soon, Nagisa stopped crying and went back to sleep. Nowaki looked closer at the baby and soon realized that it resembled himself.  
…  
“Hiro-san, that baby…?” he trailed off.  
…  
“She’s our daughter, you idiot,” Hiroki replied softly so Nagisa wouldn’t wake up. “Right after you left, I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t even get to tell you about her…”  
…  
As Hiroki started crying again, Nowaki hugged him.  
…  
“Oh, Hiro-san, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I couldn’t tell!” Nowaki apologized.  
…  
XXX  
Now that Nowaki was back, things could be fixed. However, it would take a long time for that to happen…


	5. Nowaki's Bakery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nowaki finds a cat in front of his bakery. (AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AU) (Conatins Neko!Hiroki)  
> This chapter actually contains no romance. 'Cuz even ye olde me had some standards.

First thing in the morning, Nowaki went to his bakery to start preparations. Upon his arrival, he found a small, cinnamon-colored cat collapsed near the door. Quickly, he rushed to it and picked it up  
…  
“Are you okay?” he asked the cat.  
…  
The cat was hardly breathing. Nowaki didn’t know how to help it, so he hurriedly wrote a note, stuck to the door, and rushed to the vet.  
XXX  
“Don’t worry, Kusama-san,” Aikawa reassured him. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Just give him this medicine for a few days.”  
…  
“Thank you, Aikawa-san,” Nowaki said.  
…  
Then, he went home with the cat bundled in his arms. A few minutes after they arrived, the cat woke up. It looked around, confused.  
…  
“Oh, good, you woke up,” Nowaki said, relieved. “Are you hungry?”  
…  
The cat looked at Nowaki strangely. He started to back away from the large man. Nowaki went into his kitchen to find something to feed to the cat. He returned with some tuna on a plate. He placed it in front of the cat.  
…  
“Here you go,” Nowaki offered. “I’m Nowaki. Oh, you don’t have any tags… Can I call you Hiroki?”  
…  
Of course, the cat didn’t answer.  
…  
“Come eat, Hiroki. Then, you have to take this medicine,” Nowaki told him.  
…  
Hiroki was still wary of the man, but he was very hungry. So, he cautiously started nibbling on the tuna. After Nowaki gave him he medicine, Hiroki fell asleep.  
…  
XXX  
In the morning, he woke up to Nowaki carrying him to the bakery. Startled, he tried to squirm out of the man’s arms.  
…  
“Oh, you woke up again,” Nowaki smiled. “We’re going to my bakery now. That’s where I found you yesterday.”  
…  
As the day progressed, Hiroki met many people at the bakery. All of them petted him and smiled. Even the scary ones, like Yokozawa, petted him. Though he wouldn’t admit it, Hiroki was quite happy.  
XXX  
After a while, this became a daily activity for Hiroki. For the rest of his life, he spent happy moments in Nowaki’s bakery.  
XXX


	6. Should I Tell Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After feeling sick, Hiroki goes to the doctor and finds out he's pregnant. However, he can't figure out how to tell Nowaki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (contains mpreg)

Recently, Hiroki has been feeling pretty damn sh*tty. Normally, he’d just chalk it up to the fact that his workload has been heavier than usual lately. However, this was a completely new feeling, and Hiroki had no clue how to fix it. For a while now, Hiroki’s been throwing up constantly. Luckily, Nowaki had just as much work as Hiroki, making it much easier to hide this from his boyfriend. After a month of constant nausea, the brunet decided that he should go to the doctor’s office. In order to not make Nowaki worried, he went to a different hospital.  
But he surely wasn’t expecting this to happen.   
Hiroki received the results of his examination in the mail. He read the results to himself and almost yelled out in surprise. However, he caught himself so that his boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, wouldn’t ask why. Hiroki couldn’t quite believe it, so he read the page once more. It was certain. Hiroki was pregnant.  
“Hiro-san, did anything come in the mail?” Nowaki questioned.  
“J-just some junk,” Hiroki replied hastily.   
Hiroki was at a loss. He really didn’t know how to tell Nowaki the news. So, he stuffed the letter into the pocket of his coat and tried to think it over.   
XXX  
“Kamijou-sensei!” Miyagi sang the next day at work. Of course, this was followed by the overly-affectionate professor’s glomping.  
“Professor Miyagi!” Hiroki hissed. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop with your sexual harassment!? Go play with the Dean’s son or something!”  
“Kamijooooooooou, you’re so mean,” Miyagi whined.  
“For f*ck’s sake, would you just do you’re work for once?!?!?!?!?!?!?” the furious professor replied.  
“Hmmmmmm….Someone seems to be grumpier than usual today. Having trouble with your boyfriend again?” he mocked.  
“That’s none of your bu-!” Hiroki attempted to say before he clamped a hand over his mouth and ran to the bathroom, where he threw up.  
“Are you sick?” Miyagi asked once the brunet had thrown up the entirety of his breakfast.   
“I’m fine,” Hiroki grouched back at his superior.  
“If you say so,” the professor said.   
As a few more weeks passed, Hiroki started to avoid Nowaki because he still couldn’t think of a plan. Of course, Nowaki realized this immediately, and it worried him deeply.  
“Hiro-san, is something wrong?” he asked.  
“…No,” Hiroki told him as he looked away.  
Nowaki was close enough to see this motion. So, he decided to press the issue farther.  
“Hiro-san, you’ve been acting strange lately. I know that something’s not right.” Nowaki continued.  
“I said nothing’s wrong, you damn brat!!!!” the brunet yelled.  
As Hiroki stomped out of the room, the dark-haired man’s heart grew heavier.   
XXX  
The next week, both Nowaki and Hiroki miraculously got a few days off. Now that the couple were able to spend more time together, it became harder for Hiroki to hide the morning sickness.  
“You should go rest, Hiro-san,” Nowaki told his boyfriend after he threw up for the third time that day. Being a doctor, he knew it would be best for his boyfriend to get some medicine and sleep.  
After he helped the weakened professor get to the bed, Nowaki decided to do the laundry. As he walked past Hiroki’s coat, he noticed that it was starting to get pretty dirty. As he picked it up, he saw the corner of an envelope sticking out of one of the pockets. Thinking that it could be something important that Hiroki had stuffed in there while angry, he removed the envelope to put it in a safe place. Nowaki stopped, however, when he saw that the sender was a hospital. Curiously, he opened the letter and began reading just as Hiroki left the bedroom.  
“Put that down!!!” Hiroki screeched as he tried to take the envelope from the larger man.  
Ignoring his boyfriend’s *request*, Nowaki held the letter where the brunet couldn’t reach it and finished reading. His eyes went wide in surprise.  
“Hiro-san, you’re pregnant?!?!?!?!” he exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”  
Hiroki looked away. Still, he couldn’t think of anything to say. Suddenly, Nowaki scooped him up in a big hug.  
“Oh, Hiro-san, I’m so happy!” he beamed.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I just couldn’t figure out what to say…,” the brunet muttered as he finally found his words.  
“I can’t believe we’re actually going to have a baby!” Nowaki continued.  
As the large man continued to hug the professor and chatter happily, Hiroki thought:  
“At least it’ll have Nowaki to dote on it…”  
THE END.


	7. Help Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if there was more to the time Onodera fainted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER)

Ritsu retched into a plastic bag. Of course, he could just use the toilet in his bathroom, but he had gotten used to doing it this way when he was still living with his parents.   
Of course, he couldn’t let them find out. With the way his mother is, she would just get angry at him. His father wouldn’t yell, but he would be disappointed. They wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t tell Takano either. He had come close to finding out after he fainted, but assumed that he was just an idiot who didn’t understand nutrition.  
He really did understand it, though. He knew how little he ate, and how unhealthy his eating habits were. But after ten years of doing it, Ritsu couldn’t stop. He tried, and couldn’t. He knew he needed help, but he couldn’t tell anyone, so who could help him?  
Ten years ago. That’s when it all started. The same event that jaded him led to this. But eventually, it wasn’t even about Takano anymore. It was his parents, school, and then his job. The more stressed he got, the worse it was getting. He was growing increasingly worried that Takano had already figured it out, and that was why he was so insistent on eating with him. Of course, Takano couldn’t know that, most of the time, he threw it up soon afterward.  
He sealed the bag and threw in the trash can. Then, just to be careful, he piled some other garbage over it.   
XXX  
Masamune sat next to his window. He held a cigarette in his hand, but he had yet to light it. To put it simply, he was worried. Despite forcing Onodera to eat with him, the man still didn’t seem to gain any weight at all. Takano knew Onodera was too thin. He knew that it was unhealthy. But he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if Onodera was sick or busy or just stressed. All he knew was that, whatever the problem was, he couldn’t let it go on.  
XXX  
Takano had just forced Ritsu to eat dinner with him. Surprisingly, he was able to go back to his apartment quickly. Once inside, he went into his kitchen and sunk to the floor. He removed a bag from his pocket and stared at it. As his anxiety increased, he couldn’t stop himself. He stuck his hands into his mouth and down his throat. Soon, the food he had just eaten was in the bag. Then, he threw the bag away and went into his bathroom. Once he brushed his teeth, he looked at himself in the mirror. He saw how thin it was. He saw the bags under his eyes. He saw how dull his eyes had become. He saw how pale he was. He saw it all.  
Ritsu let out a shaky sigh, trying to pull his mind out of the dark place it was descending into. He turned on the sink and splashed water on his face. However, it didn’t work and he ended up sinking to the floor again with his head in his hands.  
“Fuck…,” he cursed.  
XXX  
At work the next day, Ritsu stumbled as he walked into the office.  
“Hey, are you okay? Hell week hasn’t even started yet,” Kisa said.  
“I’m fine,” Ritsu answered. “I just lost my balance for a second.”  
“Okay then,” Kisa said as he turned back to his work.  
As Ritsu sat down, he could feel Takano’s stare.  
XXX  
Toward noon, Masamune forced Ritsu to eat lunch with him, despite the man’s protests of having to get work done. After they had both eaten, they started making their way back to the office. However, Ritsu said he was going to the restroom. Thinking nothing of it, Takano returned to the office alone.  
XXX  
After work, Ritsu and Takano took the subway back to their apartment building. However, as they were almost there, Ritsu’s version faltered. He stumbled and, unable to regain his balance, fell to the ground before blacking out.  
XXX  
Masamune looked at Onodera, shocked for a second. Then, he knelt and gently shook his coworker.  
“Onodera? Hey, Onodera!” he said, worried.  
When he didn’t get a response, Masamune picked him up and carried him the rest of the way to the building. Since the man still hadn’t come to, he placed him in his car and started driving him to the hospital. Once they were almost there, Ritsu’s eyes opened.  
“Wha…,” he mumbled as he sat up. “Why are we in your car?”  
“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Takano sighed. “You fainted.”  
“Oh…,” Onodera said.  
XXX  
Ritsu could feel his heart start pounding against his chest. He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to risk Takano finding out, but he knew that Takano was going to force him to go if he had to. He clenched his hands into fists in an attempt to keep his anxiety under control.  
XXX  
Masamune started driving home, with Onodera in the seat next to him. As expected, the doctors said he fainted as a result of stress and malnutrition again. The men were silent. After Masamune parked his car, he took Onodera’s hand and brought him to his apartment. Even more concerning Masamune was that Onodera didn’t protest at all.  
“Are you okay?” Masamune asked once he and Onodera were sitting in his apartment.  
Onodera put his face in his hands.  
“Ritsu,” Masamune said quietly.  
“…The doctors told me to go to a psychologist,” Onodera explained quietly.  
“What?!” Masamune gasped.  
“…They think I…,” Onodera started. “Think I have anorexia.”  
Masamune’s eyes widened.  
They went silent for a minute before Onodera continued.  
“Takano-san…,” he said. “I’ve… been… making myself throw up… I… can’t stop! I tried, but I can’t! I… I don’t know what to do!”  
As Onodera sobbed, he felt Masamune’s arms wrap around him.  
“It’s okay, Ritsu… It’s okay…”  
XXX


End file.
